surviving it all

nicole

on her 3rd year she developed muscle cancer at her right thigh. her hospital at PCMC almost became her home. she had to undergo chemotherapy, hence, all her hair fell off, stamina lost. on & off her treatment, the whole family brings her to tagaytay. there's a small monastery there, often visited by those families who bring a sick relative for prayer & healing. we brought nicole there hundreds of time, praying for a miracle to happen.

a miracle did happen. nicole got healed. that took her a year to recover, to grow all her hair back, to return to good health.

on the night of nicole's 6th birthday, her father benjo went to the 'select' store which was just a few minute walk from their home. in a few hours, a rumble came about involving my 'bayaw', 2 of his other friends & some bystanders. i was just departing a fraternity anniversary that night when i received a text message from my sister anna. she informed me that kuya benjo got stabbed & that we got to hurry & check on the kids so she can go to him at the hospital. that was around 3 to 4am in the morning past nick's birthday last january 21st. we came to their house at don antonio, w/o a smell of panic, anna took some clothes & sheets for kuya benjo then left. ryan drove her to the hospital & myself & a sorority sister were left to make sure their 2 kids were safe sleeping alone in their home. after an hour, i got a call from ryan & said, w/c i distinctly remembered him saying, 'genna, wag kang mabibigla, patay na si benjo' - "genna, don't get shocked, benjo just died". i couldn't say anything to him so i just dropped the phone, looked at my sleeping nieces & cried. that was already almost 6am in the morning of january 22nd. i went out, kids still asleep, looked for his relatives (they live in a compound). i couldn't find anyone for awhile until his grandfather walked out to the garage so i told him immediately what happened. he was shocked as well. kuya's parents were already at the hospital so he got no one else to send the news to but simply sat & moaned. i went inside again & called my parents. a few hours later when the sun rose, my parents picked us up & we all went to the hospital. cause of death, kuya benjo got stabbed in the abdomen causing pints & pints of blood to ooze out of his body & particularly due to the resident doctors' neglicence. no one, for hours, could attend to him. when we came, his body was already covered in white sheet from head to toe. my sister anna & kuya benjo's mom couldn't contain their sorrow. everybody was mourning.

nicole has been fatherless since.

a year ago, nicole suffered a stroke. numbed her right body for a while & recovered in weeks. her heart was detected to be enlarged so she was prescribed medicines to sustain the abnormality, & of what that can do to her fragile little body. months passed, meds still in place, she suffered another stroke. this happend this year, a few days after her birthday, yet again. at first there was no panic since she recovered quick & checked out the hospital after just a few days. on her first day home, she lied down her bed & slept. after awhile we heard her loud cry for help. she wet the bed, couldn't move & open her eyes. it was her 3rd major stroke. she couldn't move the full left side of her body including her eyelid & limbs. we rushed her to the hospital while everybody including her were painfully crying. her veins developed several blood clots cutting off the oxygen supply from travelling normally in cycles to her brain & heart. she was confined for several weeks at the intensive care unit.

more than a month later, she went home healed in a wheelchair w/ therapies scheduled every other day of the week. she started to walk months earlier but we still had to bring the wheelchair every time we go out on anticipated long walks at the mall. it's crucial that her body's always well-rested. ate anna even enrolled her at a school nearby where our cousin studies. she looked so excited on her first day! after a few weeks she got exhausted she had to stop schooling again.

she recently checked out the hospital. not due to her disability but due to a minor accident they, with her mom, a friend and trish, encountered just a few blocks away from home. they were avoiding a cab as they entered our subdivision & one wheel plunged in a very huge hole in the cemented street powerfully jolting everyone inside the SUV. nicole's right face hit the back of the front passenger seat. she cried instantly. my sister & the rest had minor concussions. ate anna & trish walked the few blocks to get home & left nick & her friend at the car to get some help. i drove our SUV & took nicole to the hospital. by the time we got there, the surroundings of her right eye started to blacken & swell. the doctor, by phone, advised confinement due to the complications the bruise my cause w/ the medicines she's taking to clot/unclot the blood in her body. she checked out after 4 days, gladly recovered for the nth time. the inside of her right eye still displaying a huge smear of blood clot but the swelling & darkened skin are gone.

how much more can this fragile little girl endure in her life? how many more pain staking, life threatening events does she have to recover from?

prayers...just a lot of prayers for our baby nick. whatever bad's still ahead, lemme catch 'em. i will willfully take 'em.